The Raven And The Crow
by CrystalTears3
Summary: When her father gives himself up and rats on the employees of their chop shop ring to save her from a prison sentence, Raven goes under protection of SAMCRO. When her own loyalty is tested, which side of the law will she fall on to protect the people she loves? Chibs/OC
1. Into The Jungle

**This is my first attempt at an SOA fanfic. Again, my punctuation is shite. I make no excuses. Raven is an original character that belongs to Moi. I do not own the songs or any of Kurt Sutters brilliant characters (Although if any of them are up for grabs, I would like to acquire a Chibs please. This story takes place during season 1. You remember that season right? When people smiled and everyone was still alive =( I love reviews but only if it's helpful criticism.**

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

_**Well It's Too Long Living In The Same Old Lives**_

_**I Feel Too Cold To Live, Too Young To Die**_

_**Will You Walk The Line, Like It's There To Choose?**_

_**Just Forget The Wit, It's The Best To Use**_

_**Oh Lord**_

_**I Said Oh Lord**_

_**Won't You Follow Me Into The Jungle**_

_**Ain't No God On My Streets In The Heart Of The Jungle**_

…_**..X Ambassadors Ft. Jamie N Commons (Into the Jungle)**_

XXXXXXX

_**Chapter 1**_

The gavel in church swung down with a reverberating thud, causing even the most intoxicated tongue to grow idle. The scent of leather and smoke hung heavy in the air while everyone awaited the first words from their president. Clay Morrow sat down casually at the head of the long reaper table and lit his cigar, the routine as common to him as is was to everyone in attendance.

"First order of business." He paused dramatically and let the smoke drift slowly through his parted lips "A little less than a month ago, Joe Murray's chop shop got busted. Fed's came and took apart the whole place."

"Shit. We've been doin' business with Joe for years now. They had to find something on our shop if they went through all the files." Jackson Teller leaned his elbows down on the table and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. How did this happen?"

"I don't know. Joe had suspicions before it happened. Was pretty sure someone in the shop gave'em up for a pardoning deal. He thought someone might be sniffing around so he took all the Teller-Morrow paper work and anything to do with the payout he was giving the club and destroyed it. They got nothin' on us."

"And if he rats? Then what do we do?" Tig questioned.

Clay drummed his sore calloused fingers on the table and rested his cigar in the ashtray "He ain't gonna rat. If he was, he would have done it already. No" he repeated "Club doesn't have anything to worry about. But we do have a whole new problem to deal with."

"Yeah no shit. That's gonna be a couple grand out of our pockets every month. Not to mention paying full price for all the shop parts now. Hell, I was supposed to get that exhaust system and windshield for that yuppy towny biker this week." Tig chimed in again.

"I know. I know." Clay's voice rose above the collective chattering among club members "I wish that was our only problem. Buying parts is something that can be worked out down the road. I'm already in talks with another shop. The other issue is Joe's daughter. The kid worked with her old man pullin' and runnin' parts. When they got busted, Joe gave himself up to keep her out of jail. Problem was, she was the only one he kept out of jail. Now there's people that were part of that theft ring that are goin' to be lookin' for payback once they get out jail. If they ain't already. If Joe's convicted, which he will be, he's going away for a long time and his kid has no other family. For his loyalty to the club, I promised we'd keep an eye on her."

"Since when did this club become a daycare center?"

The irritated rumbling voice coming from the opposite end of the table had Clay glaring back intensely. Piney, the eldest club member, swayed slightly in his chair, his face flush from liquor "We got enough people hangin' round this place. Where's she gonna stay?"

"She ain't just gonna be hangin' around Piney. A girl that knows cars and bikes-I already talked to Gemma about it. We're gonna use her in the shop. God knows with everything going on lately we can use the extra set of hands. We'll get her in the garage and she can use one of the apartments in the clubhouse till this all gets settled. Also, if Joe decides to open his mouth to the feds, we have a bargaining chip under our roof." Clay took another puff from his cigar and smiled back smugly. Piney had always been a pain in the ass but his attitude of late was downright defiant and he always managed to put it on full display in front of the other members. Being able to have the last word was becoming one of Clay's simple pleasures.

"The clubhouse could also use an extra set of hands if you get my drift" Tig made a lewd gesture below the table causing an eruption of laughter from all the men at the table except its president.

"No." Clay pointed an arthritic finger at his Sergeant at arms "She ain't a sweetbutt or croweater. I promised Joe I was gonna look out for her and that means keeping her away from you animals. We got enough crazy bitches running around this place."

"Besides Tiggy boy, when's the last time yeh saw a hot piece arse that knew cars and bikes? Girl's probably built like a linebacker with a voice like your grandda' and would prefer pussy ta' your cock.

"Chibby, Chibby. Don't tease me."

Again, the biker's stifled their laughter.

"So when will we be expectin' the lad. I mean lass" Chibs corrected with grin.

"Sometime tomorrow. Now is this something that needs to be voted on or are we all in agreement? Clays eyes scanned the table as everyone exchanged neutral looks.

"I'm good with it." Jax said, shrugging his shoulders.

"Aye. Anythin' to help out the shop."

So it's settled then. The girl will be here tomorrow. Now, on to the Mayans."

XXXXXXXXXX

Raven Murray stopped just outside a store window and checked her reflection. Her distressed jeans and low cut black tank top were anything but appropriate to make a first impression, but her abrupt departure from her home above her father's shop had left her clothing options limited. She frowned a leaned closer to the window while simultaneously pulling her long black hair into a high messy bun. She was resigned to the fact this was as good as it was going to get. At this point it was a trivial issue in the towering instability that had suddenly become her life. Had Ra taken even the slightest moment to dwell on it, she would end up a crumpled mess of tears on the pavement. But that wasn't her. Her father had trained her better than that. How to be unbreakable under pressure no matter how bad things seemed to be. If the lessons hadn't been enough, she had gotten to see a full demonstration of that when the shop was raided by the feds and her father had been the epitome of composure Unwavering in his mythological facts that his shop was nothing more than a storage garage and bike shop. That was until they had threatened to press charges against his only daughter. They were seeking a minimum of ten years for her and that was bound to change once they began to delve farther into their chop shop business. At thirty one years old, she would be lucky to get out at sixty. Despite all the lectures and lessons he had imparted upon her, he did the one thing no one saw coming. He rated. He rated out every "employee" that had worked for them. Most of them she had grown up around and regarded as family. Somewhere deep down it felt like a betrayal to her just as much as them. The only difference was, she was back on the street and they were locked up. It was his cross to bear for a plea deal that exonerated her from any charges. A deal she was shocked had even been on the table considering. The only group he had not thrown to the wolves was the one they had done business with for years. Teller-Morrow. Also known as the base sight for The Sons Of Anarchy. Her father was more intelligent than that. Their business dealings had them in bed with some less than savory people, but the Sons could wipe them off the grid in the blink of an eye and no one would ask any questions. Instead, her father would remain loyal to the Sons and as a reward for his devotion, his daughter would be looked after. Still, to say that her future was being held in the hands of a biker gang set in motion by her own flesh and blood was more than unnerving..to say the least.

Ra smoothed out the wrinkles in her tank and was just about to turn away when she saw the reflection of a cop car over her shoulder. It drove passed her slowly, the window also catching the mirrored image of the cop driving it. She cut her eyes to watch it drive by and only looked away when it turned and disappeared around the corner. She may have been a pardoned criminal but she was a criminal none the less and they didn't need to see where her destination was.

Ra could see the iron gate that led into the Teller-Morrow compound. She slowed her pace if only to take a minute to bask in the final moments of her former life. This was about to change everything and she knew it. Crossing the threshold in to their utopia would forever associate her with SAMCRO and make the last couple weeks more than just some fleeting nightmare. The sound of the mechanic drill coming from the garage was somehow soothing and familiar as it drew her to move further to the back of the lot. The sign reading Teller-Morrow on the small garage was overshadowed by the larger building opposite of it. Sons Of Anarchy. There it was. The mural of a grim reaper looked down upon a line of parked bikes like a general looking over its soldiers. The noises coming from the garage came to a stand still and Ra was very aware she had an audience. The slack jawed mechanics watched her every move as she made her way quickly to the door marked office, thankful when the knob turned and a blast of cold from an air conditioner greeted her balmy skin.

"Help you with something sweetheart?"

The woman sitting at the desk regarded Ra for only a moment before returning to the paperwork in front of her. Ra's mind went blank for a few seconds, her mouth opening and closing but not making any noise. The pen in the other woman's hand went idle and she looked back up in visible annoyance.

"Do you have something that needs to be fixed or did you need an English lesson?"

Ra let out a breathy laugh and shook her head, removing the sunglasses from her face "Sorry. I just walked five blocks and it's hot out there. I.."

"If you need a tow it's going to be about an hour. The guys are already out on a pickup." The woman cut her off and stood to put her papers into a filing cabinet.

"No. No I don't need a tow. I was told to talk to Clay's wife Gemma. I'm Raven Murray." She hesitated, unsure if she should say his name to someone she just met "Joe Murray's daughter."

"Oh." the womans face relaxed and she looked suddenly interested "I'm Gemma. Sorry been a busy day almost forgot you were coming." Gemma's eyes flicked over Ra causing her to shift uncomfortably "So you're Joe's kid huh? Raven. Interesting name."

"Ya well, that's what happens when your mama is part Indian and your daddy is too drunk to check the birth certificate before he signs it. You can just call me Ra though. Everyone does."

Gemma smirked and rested a hip against her desk. It wasn't till just then did Ra notice it. If the portrait of the Reaper outside was the general, Gemma was the queen. Her dark clothing and highlighted hair were mere packaging for the part. She held herself with an air of calm self confidence and probably had years of training herself to look seemingly indifferent no matter what the situation. She didn't need to plaster a fake smile on her face and coddle Ra. If anything she probably expected Ra to drop to her knees and express her gratitude.

"Well your daddy told Clay you're one hell of a little mechanic. Did he mean fixing them or hot wiring them 'cause we don't do that sort of thing here little bird."

Ra took in a sharp breath and pursed her lips together. Maybe the Son's were doing her a favor but her father had also helped them out too "Look. After the last couple weeks I've had the last thing I need is to have someone else dumping their shit on me." She quickly bit her tongue, surprised that the words came out so freely. She was even more surprised when Gemma cocked her head to the side and a crooked smile tugged at her lips.

"Tougher than you look" Ra highly doubted it was meant to be a compliment "Well Birdie, here's the deal..you'll work in the shop for us fixin' up the bikes and cars and being a "go for" for the guys. I'll probably need you in the office too. In return, we give you room and board and the protection of the club." Gemma was very matter of fact about everything and Ra wondered how many times she had given that same speech to some random. The biker queen breezed passed her casually and opened the door "Come on. I'll show you where you're stayin' and let the boys know their new _ward _is here. Oh and by the way.." Gemma stopped to let her eyes skim over Ra one more time "Having perky tits and a nice body isn't something I can hold against you, but keep the girls covered when you're in the garage. I need those boys with their hands on the cars, not their dicks." Ra chewed on her lip and nodded, following behind Gemma obediently. She would have had a snippy retort about Gemma's cleavage peeking out from the top of her own shirt but decided not to push her luck.

"So. Is your mama in jail too or is she hiding out in a tipi somewhere?" Gemma questioned sarcastically.

"She's dead." Ra stated flatly.

Gemma slowed her steps and for the first time dropped her brash attitude "Oh. Sorry."

"S'okay" Ra shrugged, adjusting the satchel on her arm "It was a long time ago. I was to young to even remember her."

"Still, no child should grow up without a mother."

"Eh. I had a dad that wasn't so bad and the guys at the shop. Can't miss something you never had right?" Ra craned her neck to hear Gemma's reply but could only read her lips as the animalistic roar of a motorcycle entered the lot. She turned in time to see the reaper's returning soldier sitting coolly on top of his iron stallion. She watched as he backed effortlessly into the empty spot down the line of bikes like putting the missing link back into the chain. He turned to look at her as he killed the bike and she noticed the scars on each of his cheeks.

"You comin' birdie?"

Ra turned around to see Gemma waiting for her outside the door of what she assumed was the MC's clubhouse. She looked back to the biker who was no longer looking at her, but exchanging words with a few mechanics coming out from the garage to meet him. She watched for a moment longer before following Gemma into the building.

XXXXXXXX

Chibs slipped his sunglasses down to the tip of his nose and peered over the dark lenses "I dunno what tha' was but I want one."

"That's going to be under our roof and in our garage for the next few weeks and we can't play with it" Tig sidled up to Chibs' bike, wiping grease from his hands, Juice on his heels.

"Murray's daughter?" The Scot looked surprise.

"Yup. Who would have known daddy's little girl was going to be a hot piece of ass."

"Yeah Chibs" Juice chuckled "Where's the linebacker that was supposed to show up today?"

"Ugh. If that's what linebackers look like I should really start watching football."

Juice and Chibs exchanged glances, recognizing that dreamy zoned out stare Tig would get when talking about sex and could only imagine what raunchy images were playing in his head. Their conversation was cut short as Clay and Jax pulled into the lot and backed their bikes up side to side.

"Mom said the girl just got here. Get a look at her?" Jax dismounted his bike and pulled the helmet from his head.

"Oh yeah. We saw her." Juice wagged his eyebrows up and down but his face went blank when he saw the threatening look of his club president.

"Come on shitheads. Let's get this over with"

**XXXXXXXX**

This place was a dive bar. A dive bar with a hotel attached, but a dive bar nonetheless. Ra scrunched her face up. It even smelled like one. Her gaze drifted around the room, taking in every little detail. From the stripper pole, to the wall of mug shots and the couch with questionable stains..this was definitely SAMCRO'S playhouse. There was a short skinny brunette behind the bar staring at her curiously while a heavyset man with an oxygen tank was peering at her over the short neck of a tequila bottle.

"Piney. Ra. Ra. Piney." Gemma wagged a finger between the older man and Ra in a dismissive introduction.

Ra gave him a halfhearted smile and in turn was met with a hardened stern face "I ain't no babysitter." he grumbled breathlessly.

She locked her leg in place and put a hand to her hip "Well it's a good thing I ain't looking for one."

Gemma couldn't help but smile as Piney leaned back further into his seat and all but snarled at her. She slapped an arm around Ra's shoulder "Don't mind him. He's old and cranky. Actually he's old, cranky AND drunk a majority of the time."

Gemma directed Ra down a hallway with doors lining each side. The stickers and Harley signs reminded her of a college dorm and she could pretty well guess these rooms saw just as much action, if not more. The older women opened up the door at the end of the hall and looked into the room with a self-approving smirk "Some of the girls and I got this place all cleaned up for you yesterday. Not a simple job since this is the place where condoms and slutty thongs came to die."

Ra set her bag down on the floor and sat down at the end of the bed. There was a small cherry wood dresser across from her where a small television set and an ashtray on top of it. A kitchen station complete with microwave and sink and off to the side of that a small bathroom. The most predominant thing was of the ever present reaper staring at her from its spot on the wood paneled wall. Had it not been for the deity she would have just thought she was in a motel room. Instead, she was going to be waking up to its toothy grin and hardened black eyes staring at her coldly and reminding her every morning of her present situation. She chewed on her bottom lip and stared down at her black boots in an effort to focus on something other than the tears threatening to rise up in her eyes. Gemma frowned and sighed, pulling away from her spot in the doorway.

"Hey I know it's not the Hilton but its no reason to get upset about it" She joked, sitting down next to Ra.

"No. It's not the room. I just.." Ra pulled her hair down from the messy bun and sucked in a sharp breath "One minute I'm working on a twin cam engine and drinking beers with the guys and the next I'm looking at my dad behind bars and shacking up at a motorcycle club." She shook her head and chuckled darkly "I'm not looking for sympathy, we were criminals and I knew getting caught was part of the territory. It's just when it happened, it happened so fast."

"Yeah. I know sweetheart. We've all been through it" Ra nearly jumped at Gemma's hand rubbing up and down her back in a rather motherly fashion. She even had to do a double take to make sure it was the same woman that moments ago had been so standoffish in the office. Gemma met her confused eyes with a lighthearted smile "A lot of the women here have been through the same thing. Their Dads, sons, brothers, husbands. One day you wake up to a full house and the next..you're going to sleep in an empty bed surrounded by silence. Shitty."

Ra laughed out loud and pushed the tears away, finding it easier for her body to relax under Gemma's touch "Yeah. Shitty"

Gemma took Ra's head in her heads and held her gaze "But all of the girls out there will tell you that you need to be strong. It's okay to hurt and be mad and miss them, but when your day begins, you put on your big girl pants and you deal with it. Your dad gave himself up so you didn't have to be on the inside too. That's what family does. Best way to thank him for that is to prove how strong you can be."

Ra inhaled sharply and tightened her jaw. Gemma was right. This wasn't her. This whiney daddy's girl feeling sorry for herself. It had never been her. If her dad saw her now he wouldn't recognize her. There was the sound of men talking down the hall and Gemma turned to look over her shoulder "Alright" She stood and adjusted the bottom of her shirt "The guys are here. Enough with the mushy mommy shit. That's all you're going to get out of me. Let's go birdie."

Ra's lips twitched upward. She was sure that was the truth. Gemma transformed right back to the bitch in the office, but now she had a little more understanding as to why. Perhaps even a little envious too. Ra wiped away the smeared make up under her eyes and ran a hand threw her hair before following Gemma out of the room.

**XXXXXXXXXX**

The scent of leather and smoke was the first thing to invade her senses. That was followed by the sound of laughter and loud talking. It reminded her so much of hanging out with the boys in her shop and she smiled in spite of her sudden nervousness. The memory melted away quickly under the weight of eyes on her now. There they were. The Reaper's outlaw cavalry. All perfectly uniformed in black leather kuttes. If the jukebox wasn't playing faintly in the background Ra was sure they would be able to hear her heart beating.

"You boys play nice with your new friend otherwise mommy and daddy won't let you have anymore sleepovers." Gemma joked as she walked to the exit.

Ra wanted to follow after her, surprised in herself that Gemma would be the person she latched on to and felt suddenly thrown to the wolves. The door shut behind Gemma and Ra looked around awkwardly till her eyes landed on two familiar faces. Clay and Bobby. She didn't deal with the "sales" portion of her father's business, she was just a "mechanic," but she did remember seeing Clay. He was hard to miss. The idea that he could have any other occupation other than the head of this MC was preposterous. His unique look projected one thing…Alpha Male. Then there was Bobby. She had often seen him hanging around the office and was pretty sure he was screwing Rachel, her father's secretary. Coincidently so was her father.

Clay's lips pulled back into a tight smile "Raven" he opened up his arms, taking her in to a bone crushing hug. He pulled back, the smile sliding from his face "We're sorry about the business. Even more sorry to hear about your dad. He's a good man. We're gonna take care'a ya till all this blows over. You're family now. Don't hesitate to ask if ya need anything"

"Thanks Clay."

Her eyes wondered anywhere but to his sincere stare. She was afraid if their eyes were to meet it would bring on fresh tears. Gemma's words echoed in her head and she pushed her somber thoughts to the side.

"Boys." Clay didn't need to raise his voice to command the attention of everyone in the room "This is Raven. She's gonna be our new tenant. I want you to treat her like a sister." He eyed a tall man with dark hair and moustache with a five o'clock shadow "The one ya didn't sleep with Tiggy. We got fights tonight so let's get ready for that. Ra make yourself at home and relax tonight."

With his final words, Ra was nearly knocked backward by the towering leather clad men. They were offering her beer and introducing themselves, but Ra's head was spinning from the sudden attention.

"Easy lads. Like a bunch'o dogs with a bone."

The cool glaze of leather ghosted over her hand and Ra's eyes snapped up to the dark lenses of the man from the parking lot. He winked and smiled, the scars on his cheeks morphing into deep dimples as he passed her a bottle of beer. There was something about his thick Scottish brogue that had her staring at him in curious awe.

"So happy you're going to be staying with us doll" the tall man with the scruffy black hair grabbed Ra's hand and ran his lips across her knuckles in a ineffective attempt at a antique gesture "Names Tig." It was corny but charming in such a silly sort of way she had to smile.

"Is your name really Raven?"

A younger man with a shaved Mohawk surrounded by tattoo's reminiscent of racing stripes sat down in the stool next to her. His smile stretched clear across his face and his eyes were wide with curiosity. There was a certain innocence to him she didn't expect to see in any of the men.

"Yeah. You can just call me Ra though."

"I'm Juice." He said proudly, the name obviously given to him by his fellow brothers in arms as a badge of honor "You met prince charming here." He gestured to Tig and Ra felt herself shrinking into her chair at his odd vacant stare burning holes into her breasts. He pointed over to a giant of a man leaning up against the pool table in the middle of the floor fumbling with a cell phone "That's Opie." The bearded man raised up a hand in acknowledgement but his eyes never left the phone in his hands. The Scot on the other side of the bar is Chibs." Chibs raised up the shot glass in his hand in salute before downing its entire contents and slammed it back onto the bar. Ra's eyes lingered on him a little longer than they probably should have and Chibs raised his brows at her unwavering stare. The heat rose up in her cheeks as she turned away and squeezed her eyes shut in embarrassment, hoping the silent exchange had only been noticed by the two of them.

"And I'm Jax"

Ra spun around to an outstretched hand and a VP patch looking back at her. She looked up into a pair of gentle blue eyes. He was about her age. Handsome. Great sincere smile. Just like Juice, he still had traces of innocence behind his eyes. Though she was sure he was anything but when it came to the perks of being the Vice President of a motorcycle club "Sorry about your old man. Only met him a few times but he was a nice guy. Loyal."

"Guess so." Ra shrugged and took a long swallow from the bottle of beer in her hand.

"Hey cause of him you're not behind bars right? That's what family does for each other."

"Yeah I know. Family" Ra was pulling at the label on her bottle now in thought "You sound just like Gemma."

Jax licked his lips and grinned, leaning a hand down on the bar "Well just don't tell her that. No one wants their parents to know they might have rubbed off on them."

Ra quirked an eyebrow "Parents."

"Yeah. The crazy broad in the office is my mom" he smirked "Clay's my stepdad" The phone is Jaxs' pocket rang and he offered no apologies when he turned around and walked away to take the call. Ra spun back and put her beer down on the bar.

"Son's in the hospital." Chibs pulled out another shot glass and filled it with the same amber colored liquid as the one in front of him. He slid it over to Ra and came out from the bar, taking a seat next to her. Pulling a pack of smokes out from his Kutte pocket, she watched as his lips wrapped around one of the cigarettes and pulled it out effortlessly with his teeth. He leaned over and wordlessly offered her the opened pack.

"I quit." Ra said hesitantly, reminded herself more than declining the offer.

Chibs lit his cigarette released the smoke out the side of his mouth as he chuckled and shook the pack in front of her again "Trust me luv. Now's the time ta' start."

Ra shrugged and pulled a cigarette from the pack, leaning over to Chibs' offered lighter. She inhaled deeply, letting the smoke fill her lungs. Her head lolled backed as the smoke drift back out through her partially parted lips. Chibs grinned, shaking his head in approval.

"Good right?"

"Too good" she said dreamily, the second drag feeling even better than the first.

Chibs reached over and set the shot glass down in front of her "Stick with us lass. It'll only get better." He grabbed his own and lifted it up, waiting for Ra to do the same. She smiled and clicked her glass off his. The whiskey was warm when it hit her lips and burned in her throat, igniting into a full blown fire in her stomach. It felt good. The smoke and liquor was already making her head a little foggy. The amount no where near what she could generally consume, but the stress of the last few days was probably messing with her tolerance. _To hell with it_ she thought to herself. She was so overwhelmed with the uncertainty of her future that the thought of being able to forget, even for a little while, was way to tempting. The door to the clubhouse swung open and people began filing in, each person louder than the next. Two scantily clad women jumped behind the bar and began dispensing alcohol to the impatient rowdy group. The volume of the jukebox skyrocketed and the room quickly began to fill to capacity. Juice, who had been sitting on the other side of Ra, smiled and grabbed his beer off the bar.

"Ever been to a fight Ra?"

**XXXXXXXXXXXX**

_Please Review. No Flames Please. _


	2. I'm On Fire

_**YAY! I was able to get my next chapter out before work gets busy. Hope you guys are liking the story. Special thanks to TheIrishShipperholic, Mcmannusdixon (Love that name) Emmettluver2010, Psycho17 and Go4itgirl for taking time out to write a review. They make me feel special (Squeal) And yes Go4itgirl, The vowel is stressed in Ra's name like RAY. =)**_

_**Again I own nothing *pouty face***_

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

_**Hey Little Girl Is Your Daddy Home?**_

_**Did He Go And Leave You All Alone?**_

_**I Got A Bad Desire**_

_**Oh, Oh, Oh, I'm On Fire**_

…_**..Bruce Springsteen (I'm On Fire)**_

_**Chapter 2**_

"Earn your kutte prospect! Hit'em yeh little shite!"

Chibs was stomping up and down on the corner of the boxing ring, his voice barely audible over the screams from the crowd around him. Half sacks opponent had already been the first to draw blood and the prospect was beginning to throw lazy punches. Amid the sweat, blood and adrenaline, he found his eyes drifting over to Ra coming out from the clubhouse. Her footing was a little unsteady and her cheeks looked flushed. She maneuvered sloppily through the restless natives, a beer bottle dangling loosely from her hand.

_Lightweight _

He shook his head dismissively and went back to the fight. Hopefully one of his brothers was remotely sober enough to keep an eye on her. Her father's chop shop business getting busted had taken quite a chunk of money away from the club and the garage and he had money riding on this fight. He couldn't afford distraction. Still, call it devotion to the club or morbid curiosity, he couldn't stop his eyes from wondering to find her.

Ra's head felt fuzzy. Good fuzzy. The kind of fuzzy that distorted her rational thoughts and it felt good to lose the unwanted clarity. The vibration from the motorcycles coming in and out of the lot and the screams from the fired up bikers provided the perfect white noise. She circled the ring, her brows drawing tighter as she tried to concentrate on the fight. The skirmish, no matter how animated, looked as if it were playing out in slow motion Perhaps she had drank more than she thought.

"Pretty awesome right?"

She nearly lost her footing when an overly enthusiastic Juice snuck up behind her and slapped her on the back. Had the liquor not been doing its job she was sure the gesture would have bordered on painful "Ya..Yeah. Pretty awesome" She was beginning to slur, but figured Juice wouldn't have noticed over the noise around them "This an every night kinda thing?"

"God I wish" Juice paused to throw his hands up in the air as the crowd broke in to a mixture of boos and excited cheers when one of the men fighting hit the mat "Now the parties..those are a whole other story." He grinned wickedly.

Ra smiled and nodded. How she was ever going to get sleep in this place was beyond her. Through the haze of people she could see the Scotsman staring down at her from the corner of the boxing ring. She looked away quickly hoping he wasn't gauging her sobriety considering he was the one that had initiated the drinking to begin with. "Come on" She grabbed Juice by the arm and started pushing passed people to head towards the clubhouse "I need another drink."

The moment they entered she wanted to turn around and walk back out, feeling as if she had just walked in on some very private party. There were girls on poles wearing nothing but thin lace thongs and men drinking and watching intensely through blood shot eyes. The darkest corner of the room was a blur of skin and moans of pleasure and Ra found herself blushing uncontrollably. Juice wasn't phased by any of it. He didn't even spare a second glance as he reached over and grabbed two shots and two beers off the bar. He followed her gaze to where her attention was occupied and saw Tig with a croweater between his legs, his head resting back on the couch.

"Hope you're not squeamish" He tapped her arm with the glass of whiskey and regained her wondering eyes "We're not fans of censorship when it comes to..well…anything."

"Obviously" Ra slurred, downing her shot in one gulp and chasing it with her beer "Didn't think you guys were a roaming pack of Catholic priests or anything."

"Oiy! Juicy boy! The prospect pulled it off!" Chibs came up from behind Juice and handed him what looked like a wad of hundred dollar bills "I think tha' deserves a bit of celebratin'" he motioned for the bartender who dropped what she was doing to quickly shuffle over to them. The blonde leaned over the bar and giggled when Chibs brushed the hair back behind her ear and whispered something only the two of them could hear. When she came back she had a bottle of Patron in her hand and a wide smile on her face.

"Piney's secret stash eh?" Juice checked the bottle the way a sommelier would check a vintage of wine.

"Ahhh. Fuck'em. Ol'man don't do 'nothin but drink. It's a celebration! Chibs grabbed the bottle and began pouring, stopping when he got to Ra's empty shot glass "Yeh do tequila there girl or yeh already off yeh face?"

Ra eyed the bottle and openly winced. Last time she did tequila was the night she had gotten arrested for disorderly conduct and kicked out the window of a cop car. However, that was during a time in her life she was actually happy. How could having a couple shots now be any worse than that? She tapped her glass with the tip of her nail and smiled at the Scotsman arrogantly "I'm not oot my face" She mocked "And I can handle anything you throw at me Scotty."

Chibs poured a shot into her empty glass and winked "Yeh shouldn't tempt me with such an offer lass."

The next couple hours were a jumbled blur of liquor and loud music. She could remember bad jokes, friendly insults, and laughing. For the first time in a long time, she could remember laughing. It was probably the best time Ra had had in a long time and judging by the way her head swam and her body swayed, it was a shame she probably wasn't going to remember it in the morning. Ra pulled her forehead off the bar and stubbed out her umpteenth cigarette.

"I think I have to go to bed."

She hadn't been speaking to anyone in particular and the longer the night had gone on the more people had been dropping out to partake in other activities. Those activities were going on in plain sight behind her. The music had died down to a whisperer and was replaced with the sounds of random couples mid coitis. Ra slid off the bar stool and quickly caught herself as her legs wobbled unstably.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I gotcha girl." A pair of arms wrapped around her and Ra's hands clamped down on leather clad shoulders. Her head lolled back till she was looking up at a pair of hooded brown eyes. Chibs smiled back at her, all the booze seeming to have no effect on him whatsoever "We're gonna have ta getcha' tolerance up if yeh gonna be hangin' round with the boys."

Ra scrunched her face up "I have tol..toleran.." She giggled as she tried to form the words, but her tongue felt suddenly numb

"Sure yeh do darlin'. Sure yeh do."

Chibs threw her arm over his shoulder and wrapped his around her waist while trying to move her down the hall to her room. Ra's feet dragged lazily on the floor and her head rocked side to side as they walked. The room was spinning now and her stomach flip flopped relentlessly. He opened the door and hit the light switch causing her to moan in annoyance.

"Too bright" She groaned, covering her eyes.

"Okay. Hold yeh horses drunky" Chibs turned the light off and released his grip on her waist to turn on the light in the bathroom and crack the door, leaving a sliver of light through the room "Better?"

"Mmmm" she hummed.

"Figured yeh be needin' to know where the bathroom is pretty soon."

Had her body not been weighed down with alcohol, Ra would have attempted a scowl. Instead, she swayed back and forth in the middle of the room. Chibs couldn't help the smile threatening to spread across his face as he watched her struggle to find the end of the bed. She sat down hard, her head bouncing on impact before her back hit the mattress. Her legs still dangled off the end of the bed and she gave an annoyed grunt that echoed through the room. Chibs glanced towards the door in the hopes that the rest of the guys were too wrapped up in Croweaters to hear her and think his intentions had been anything but noble. Then again, he himself had been questioning his intentions all night. He couldn't blame it on the booze. She was beautiful, witty and even if all her drinking had caused her present situation, she had lasted longer drinking with the guys than a lot of other women had. Clays words repeated in his head. She was a job. A payoff. A bargaining chip to be played if they needed it. Nothing more. He shook away the thoughts and walked over to the bed.

"Alright Girl. Let's get yeh all tucked in."

He wrapped an arm around her waist again and pulled her up towards the pillow, making her whine again in irritation. Ra rolled over on her side and curled up while Chibs pulled to get the covers out from under her.

"How did you get those scars?"

His hands went idle for a moment before he scoffed and flipped the sheet over her "I got them a long time ago."

"That's not an answer" She muttered.

"Aye. It's also no' a good story ta tell a little girl before she goes ta bed." He teased "Now, get some sleep." Chibs checked his handy work. It had been a long time since he tucked someone in to bed. Satisfied, he turned to walk out of the room when he heard her stir again.

"I think you're still sexy."

He froze in his steps, one foot still held out in front of him when he glanced over his shoulder at the woman laying in the bed. Her small frame was a mere bump under the covers, eyes shut tightly and pink lips parted while releasing steady breaths. He chuckled, shaking his head as he continued down the hall.

"Aye. Yeh ain't so bad yourself girl."

XXXXXXXXXX

The moment her head lifted off the pillow, Ra's stomach immediately rebelled with itself and she barely made it into the bathroom before emptying it's contents. She fell back against the wall while she tried to catch her breath. The taste and smell of liquor made her stomach lurch painfully. She rested her head back against the peeling wallpaper, clicking her tongue off the roof of her mouth with a shudder. The overpowering flavor of tobacco in her mouth and the heaviness in her chest were reminders of why she had stopped smoking to begin with. "Never. Drinking. Again." She mumbled another string of curses under her breath while trying to piece last night together. No memory played all the way through. Everything was choppy and distorted. Getting up on her hands and knees, she crawled on the tiled floor to the shower and turned the knob. Maybe cold water would jog her memory. Her hands gripped the sink as she pulled herself up unsteadily and looked in the mirror. Her make up was smeared down her face and she was still in her clothes from the night before. That was at least a good sign. She undressed and climbed into the tub, sitting down on the narrow back ledge while letting the lukewarm water cover her.

"Fuckin' tequila" She whispered out loud.

Ra exited the bathroom in a towel and tossed one of her bags on the bed. She pulled out a pair of torn up jeans and a gray form fitting shirt. She thought if she was going to have to show up in the garage in this condition, she might as well obey Gemma's bullshit appointed dress code. Her long black hair went up into a high messy bun, making it loose enough to not pull at her already throbbing head. She opened up the medicine cabinet in the hopes of finding eye drops and aspirin but found only condoms and some first aid bandages. Her shoulders dropped in defeat. This was going to be the worst day ever.

She exited the bedroom carefully, peaking out down the hall to see if there was any movement yet in the clubhouse. She cringed when the smell of smoke and booze slapped her in the face, the very source of her self inflicted ailments. But there was another aroma that caught her attention.

Coffee.

She tip toed down the corridor till she came to bar area and went slack jawed at the sight in front of her. It looked like something out of an ancient Roman orgy. Half naked men and women sprawled out over every inch of the clubhouse, snoring contently wrapped around one another the way they passed out. She was just about to head into the kitchen when she noticed one of the couples lying on the same couch remembered Tig on the night before. Chibs lay on his side, his belt and pants undone and one arm wrapped around the blonde bartender from last night. She was in nothing but a black and red g-string and her chest was flush against the Scottish biker. Ra felt an odd stirring in her chest. A baseless sense of jealousy she supposed. She dismissed it as anger towards the bartender for dishing out the booze that was causing the pounding in her head.

"Mornin' birdie. Sleep alright?"

Ra jumped at the sound of Gemma's voice coming from the small room off to the side of the hall. She entered, taken aback at how put together Gemma looked this early in the morning. She sat perched on a stool like a queen on a throne, a cigarette dangling loosely between her fingers. She smiled smugly at the unmistakably hungover girl in front of her.

"Coffee's done." she said, raising her own glass to her lips "Food too. Aspirin in the cabinet if you need it."

Ra didn't hesitate to spin around and open up the cabinet above her. A giant bottle of Tylenol, among other prescription bottles, looked down on her like a glowing beacon of hope.

"Had a good time last night?"

Ra scoffed as she poured a cup of coffee "Yeah. It won't have any effect on my work."

Gemma's brows tensed for a moment before she let out a breathy laugh "If I didn't allow the boys to come to work because they were hungover I wouldn't be in business. Long as you get your job done." She draped a arm over the back of her chair and took a long drag off her cigarette "You and our resident Scotty looked close last night. Something going on there?"

The simple observation made last night come rushing back to Ra. Nothing happened as far as she remembered. Chibs had been within arms length of her all night and helped her to her room when the liquor had finally taken full effect, but nothing more than that. Ra bobbed her head in the direction of the occupied couch and leaned back against the counter "You tell me."

Gemma peered around the corner and grinned "Oh sweetheart. Those are just one of the services those girls offer. It's just pussy."

"You allow Clay to.."

"No." Gemma interrupted, already knowing the question "I locked that down a long time ago. The girls in here know Clay is off limits. And if they don't.." she straightened up dramatically and put a hand on her hip "I rip their tits off."

Ra smirked and nodded. She didn't doubt it. If this was Gemma being nice she hated to see how the MC queen reacted when she was crossed. "Well, Chibs can do what he wants. Christ, it was a night of drinking and harmless flirting, not some Jane Austen romance novel. I know nothing about the guy other than the fact he's Scottish, loves alcohol and curses like a sailor. Oh and he apparently has a thing for blondes which I am not." She hesitated, sucking in a breath when she realized that may have come out with a little more bitterness than intended "I just know I have a drinking buddy when I need one. Nothing romantic."

Gemma eyed her suspiciously, gauging her sincerity while she studied her face. Not getting any reaction, she gave a resigned smile and smacked her butt as they walked out of the room "Alright birdie. Let's get to work."

**XXXXXXXXX**

_I'm being punished._ That was all Ra could think when she first got out to the garage. The first time all season the temperature had gone in to the upper nineties had to be on the day of the worst hangover of her life. She struggled through it though, catching amused looks from Gemma through the blinds of her air conditioned office. She may have seemed apathetic earlier, but now she was making a point to make sure it didn't happen again. It was only herself and a strange sort of man named Lowell. He was shy and awkward, but a wiz mechanic. It was almost noon when the guys stumbled out of the clubhouse like a pack of vampires cowering from the sun. Some already had beer bottles in their hands.

"Must be quite the life" she whispered out loud.

Clay pulled his bike into the parking lot, smiling as he dismounted and pulled the leather gloves from his hands "How are things going sweetheart? Finding your way around okay?"

"Fine. Nothing I can't handle." Ra called back.

"Good. Good." Clay paused, shaking his head repeatedly but remaining relatively still as he surveyed the car she had been working on. He looked deep in thought till he noticed her staring "I'm gonna go talk to Gem. Keep up the good work." He slapped her gently on the shoulder and disappeared into the office. The odd exchange had Ra suddenly worried that perhaps something was going on he wasn't making her privy too.

Ra glanced back over her shoulder at the guys out on the balcony of the clubhouse. She was sure had Gemma been watching she would have seen the blush rise up in her cheeks when Chibs stepped outside. He slid his sunglasses on and adjusted his kutte before lighting up a cigarette. Blowing the smoke out slowly, he dipped his frames down to the end of his nose and looked back at her as if he could sense her watching him. Ra turned around quickly to the open hood of the SUV she had been working on and tried to remember what she had been doing. Faint footsteps on the pavement grew louder and she squeezed her eyes shut in the hopes maybe that would somehow make her invisible.

"Alive and well I see." came a Scottish inflection from behind her.

"Alive" Ra grumbled.

Chibs couldn't help but stare as she leaned over the car she was working on. The bartender from last night had been an attempt to get rid of any suppressed sexual tension he had been feeling and where it had been good, it apparently wasn't good enough. Ra was the first thing he thought of when he woke up this morning. He knew Gemma would have her ass if she still sleeping it off, so after he dismissed the bartender, he made his way to her room. Finding it empty only brought on a new wave of urgency. She had gotten up before him and had to of seen him with the blonde whose name he hadn't even taken the time to know. There was a stirring of irritation in him at the fact he even cared what she thought. Christ she hadn't even been here twenty four hours. He had watched her for awhile through the window of the clubhouse. The engine grease smudged on her cheek and the oversized Teller-Morrow smock only adding more to her forbidden appeal. If she had just been like any other piece of ass that walked through this clubhouse, it would have been so much easier. He could have fucked her brains out, gotten it over with and let everything go back to business as usual. Standing outside with her now, under the weight of her narrowed gaze and the heat of the sun, he felt the need to explain himself but was rendered mute.

"Thanks by the way." Ra finally fractured the silence between them, looking rather annoyed at having to voice her gratitude.

Chibs quirked a brow in surprise "For?"

"Ya know.." She fidgeted with the wrench in her hand timidly "Getting me in to bed and all." She mentally slapped herself at her choice of words. More so when a crooked smile appeared on Chibs' face, making his dimples deepen.

"Don't mention it. Yeh pretty charmin' when yeh off your face."

He peered over his sunglasses and wagged his eyebrows up and down before turning on his heel to head back towards the clubhouse. Ra stood dumbfounded. Had something happened last night that she really didn't remember? "Wait a minute!"

Chibs kept his back to her as she approached. It was the only thing he could do to keep her from seeing the smirk on his face.

"Did somethin…" Glancing over his shoulder, Ra noticed Tig, Juice, Bobby, and Opie staring at them curiously from the picnic tables and she lowered her voice to a whispered hiss "Did something happen last night?"

Chibs cocked his head to the side and attempted to look hurt "Aye. A lot of things happened last night. Prospect won us money, we went through two bottles of Piney's Patron, yeh danced with some of the girls. Yeh very good at tha' yeh know."

Ra winced. She didn't remember dancing but that wasn't what she was getting at and he knew it "You know what I mean Chibs. Did something happen with you and I?"

He pulled another cigarette out and lit it slowly, purposely taking his time to make her even more flustered. She raised her brows in annoyance and he finally caved "No. Nothing happened last night. Yeh were very ladylike. Even when yeh passed out on the bed. Barely any droolin'."

Her body relaxed and her pursed lips twisted up into a smile "Good to know." She turned to walk away and Chibs couldn't waste the opportunity to tease her again.

"Yeh think I'm sexy though huh?"

Ra came to a quick halt and twisted back around "huh?"

"Last night" He repeated "Yeh said yeh thought I was sexy."

"I did?"

Chibs nodded, his grin turning cocky when he noticed the slack jawed look on her face. He was toying with her. Probably making a point to make her feel more foolish than she did last night. Ra straightened up and narrowed her eyes "I said sexy?"

"Devastatingly sexy. Unbearably sexy." He lied.

"Hmm." She hummed playfully "Guess I was a lot more drunk than I thought."

She winked at him and continued back to the garage, overemphasizing the sway of her hips. When she glanced over her shoulder at him, Chibs was still watching her intently, his lips set in the shape of an "O" in mock offense.

**XXXXXXXX**

Two sets of eyes watched the pairs exchanged from behind opened blinds.

"What do ya make of that?" Clay asked his queen, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"It is what it is. The girl's not so bad. I kinda like her." She leaned her head back against his shoulder and rubbed his sore hands "Seeing him curled up next to a croweater this morning probably put her off."

"Yeah well that's where he needs to be. I told the guys already I don't want them getting involved with the kid. In case something happens with her dad, I don't need things getting complicated."

"When's the last time you saw Chibs choose pussy over the club? I don't think you have anything to worry about. Might as well let them have fun." Gemma twisted around in his grasp and wrapped her arms around his neck "What are you gonna do with her if her old man rats anyway?"

Clay rested his forehead against hers and sighed. The last thing he wanted was to do any harm to the girl, but after finding out from Unser that the ATF were investigating the MC, he had to have some kind of leverage to protect the club "I hope it don't get to that point Gem. I really do."

**XXXXXXXX**

**Pretty please review. =)**


	3. Invisible

_**Special thanks again to TheIrishShipperholic for the support and welcome La Vik and everyone who added this story to their Favorites and Followed list. I wish there was a little more substance to this chapter but there was only so many times to write and rewrite it. On with the show….**_

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

_**Here Inside, My Quiet Hell**_

_**You Cannot Here, My Cries For Help**_

_**I Tried Everything, To Make Them See Me**_

_**But Everyone, Sees What I Can't Be**_

_**Even When I'm Walking On A Wire**_

_**Even When I Set Myself On Fire**_

_**Why Do I Always Feel Invisible?**_

_**Everyday I Try To Look My Best**_

_**Even Though Inside I'm Such A Mess**_

_**Why Do I Always Feel Invisible?**_

_**Chapter 3**_

The day dragged on mercilessly. Whether it had been from the conveyer belt of cars that seemed to never end or her hangover, Ra was exhausted by the time Gemma decided she had tortured her enough and released her for the day. She was happy that the guys had left on their motorcycles an hour beforehand and the clubhouse was relatively quiet. It was nice to have a few moments of peace when she finally made it back to her room. However, with the silence came the reality she had been trying to escape. The feeling of running on autopilot to try to combat an odd sense of loss. The longer she was with her own thoughts the harder it was to not want to crawl into bed, throw the covers over her head and stay there till this whole mess was sorted out.

She decided on washing up and changing into shorts and a ratty flannel to join whatever trivial gathering of randoms was going on out in the bar. The guys still weren't back but that didn't stop people from showing up in anticipation for a larger bash. She sat down at the bar, thankful that the bartender from the night before had been replaced with a skinny short brunette.

"Can I get you something?" The girls red lips spread clear up to her eyes in one of the most sincere smiles she had seen in a long time.

"Just water hon."

The young girl stared at her curiously for a moment before scurrying to grab a bottle of water from the cooler. She set the bottle down in front of her and leaned her elbows down on the bar, watching her intently.

"You're chibs' old lady right?"

Ra choked on her water before it even made its way down. She wiped the excess moisture from around her lips and cleared her throat "' Scuse me?"

"The Scottish guy. You're his old lady." She responded innocently.

"Um. I'm nobody's old anything."

The girl laughed outright and extended her hand over the bar "My names Cherry. You're Robin or Cardinal or something like that right?"

"Raven" Ra corrected, trying hard not to collapse on the bar in a fit of giggles "Call me Ra."

Cherry's cheeks erupted in a blush that was fitting to her name "Sorry. I'm new here too."

Ra shook her head and shrugged "No big deal. Not the first time it happened. So.." She leaned back in her chair and picked at the grease still under her finger nails "What's this old lady business."

Cherry's brows wrinkled but her grin didn't falter "Well..A woman's place in this club is either as a croweater or an old lady." She sighed and abandoned the cooler she had been stocking to give Ra her full attention when she noticed the Ebony haired woman raise an eyebrow 'Being an old lady is being the wife or girlfriend of a patched member. You're his and his alone. You don't need to cater to anyone else um..Sexually. You also get respect from the other girls. A member is only as good as his old lady. Higher the rank of your man, the more the respect."

"So for being somebody's property you get respect? Kinda doesn't seem like an even exchange."

"No. Not just respect." Cherry frowned and looked blatantly offended at the smug tone in Ra's voice "You get a family."

"And a croweater is the opposite of all that?"

"You have the protection of the club but your job is to serve and keep them happy. Only time you open your mouth is when they ask you to."

Ra was taken aback at how matter of fact this girl was about something so offensive. "_Those are just one of the services those girls offer. It's just pussy" _Gemma's words echoed in her head. She couldn't understand how a little street cred and the allure of being associated with outlaws could make a woman want to live some 1950's antifeminism lifestyle. Then again, what woman helps operate a car theft ring with her old man. One thing was the complete opposite of the other but..people in glass houses she supposed "And whose old lady are you?"

Cherry smiled proudly, flipping her hair over her shoulder and pointing out the window to the fighter from the night before "Half Sack's. Or at least I will be once he patches in and we make it official." She folded her arms down on the bar and rested her chin in her hands "So, if you ain't Chibs' old lady then you're…?"

"A victim of circumstance." Ra finished.

Cherry gave a resigned smile and grabbed two beers out of the cooler "Well, I'm gonna go run this out to Half-Sack. I'm sure I'll see ya around."

"I don't go far" Ra responded sarcastically. She drummed her fingers absently on the bar and listened to the noise around her steadily growing. The urge to get lost again like she had last night a wicked temptation with the crack of the beer bottles and laughter around her. The building shook with the vibration of bikes coming into the parking lot. The guys had arrived back from whatever run they had gone on and the party was obviously about to kick in to high gear. She still hadn't recovered fully from the night before and the obvious remedy for that was to make herself scarce tonight and hide in her room. She had just gotten off her bar stool when Gemma popped her head into the clubhouse.

"Ra. There's a call for you on line one. It's from Stockton"

Ra looked at her confusion. For his silence her father had lost most of his privileges. One of them being able to make phone calls no matter what the reason. A right even his lawyer couldn't get them to change their minds on. She got up to grab the phone and Gemma caught her by the wrist as she passed.

"Remember, don't talk about anything personal on the phone. They'll have it recorded."

She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Ra wasn't stupid. She knew how all this worked. She also knew that Gemma's concern had less to deal with the safety of her and her father and more to deal with the club. However, aside from the gambling last night, there was nothing to tell. She simply nodded, walking passed the older woman to grab the phone.

"_I have a collect call from Stockton State Prison. Do you accept the charges?"_

Now she knew something was amiss. No operator would stay on hold to wait for someone to answer. You had one chance for a phone call "Yes. I accept"

"Raven? Honey?"

"Yeah Dad. I'm here."

There was a pause on the other end of the line and then her father sigh broke loudly in to the receiver "It's good to hear your voice hon."

"You to dad. But how did you..?"

"I don't have long to talk Raven." He interrupted "I have to see you. They're allowing me visitation time two days from now. I need you to be here."

Ra was momentarily distracted by the MC piling in through the clubhouse door. It wasn't till just then did she realize Gemma had been standing idly by and listening to the phone call. She grabbed Clay's arm and bobbed her head towards Ra. Whatever good mood he had been in, for whatever reason, seemed to melt away at the sight of her on the phone.

"Raven?!"

Her dads stern, almost panicked tone grabbed her attention back "Yeah. Yeah dad I'll be there."

The line went dead and in its place, the deafening sound of a dial tone. Worry and anxiety crashed over her in waves. There was an unfamiliarity in his voice. He was scared.

"Everything okay sweetheart?" Both Gemma and Clay were staring at her suspiciously from the other side of the bar.

Ra put the phone back on the receiver and feigned a smile "Yeah. Yeah. Everything is fine. They're letting him have visitation in a few days and he wants to see me. He was just calling to check up on me. That's all."

"Yeah baby. Go to jail. Leave your only daughter in a clubhouse with a bunch of biker outlaws and a limitless supply of booze..what's not to worry about." Clay joked, kissing his wife on the temple. He may have seemed completely composed, but when her eyes rose up to meet his, Ra could see uncertainty flash behind Clay's eyes and something else she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"Maybe you're makin' him wait to long to be a granddad" Gemma mused

"Ra honey if you need any help with that you just let me know." Tig chimed in, throwing an arm over her shoulder "I don't care how many times it takes."

Ra chuckled uncomfortably and pushed some loose strands of hair behind her ear. She shrugged out from the weight of Tig's arm and grabbed a pack of cigarettes on the bar.

"I'm just gonna go hang out in the room tonight. Got that engine rebuild tomorrow."

"Alright darlin'. You go get some rest."

She could still feel Gemma and Clay watching her as she made her way down the hallway. Although Gemma had filed down her sharp edges, Ra could tell there was still mistrust there. Why would she trust her? She was new. An outcast in their close knit dysfunctional family. Earning trust and respect didn't happen over night. Earning Gemma's was probably more of a treasured rarity. And Clay? She had yet to figure out if that would ever be a possibility without adorning a kutte.

**XXXXXX**

It had been over two hours of tossing and turning in bed. It wasn't the pounding music or the clinking of beer bottles or even the unrestrained yelling and tussling from the bikers in the clubhouse. It was the tone in her fathers voice The brief conversation played over and over in her head. Why he had been so adamant about seeing her. Why he sounded scared. All those thoughts leading to rational and irrational scenarios till she felt like her head was too full to process another thought. With a resigned sigh, Ra got up and tossed her flannel and shorts back on, remembering seeing the door that led up to the roof of the clubhouse. She needed air and there was no way that was going to happen if she walked out to the bar and buckled under the pressure sure to be thrown on her to stay and drink. She padded quickly down the hall, feeling foolish about sneaking out like some teenager.

The air was thick and warm on her skin as she stepped out onto the roof. Ra took in a deep breath, furrowing her brows when the familiar scent of bike exhaust and gasoline was somehow overpowered by the smell of a burning joint.

"Sometimes it gets hard to think it there."

She jumped at the sound of Jackson's voice behind her. The MC's VP was sitting slanted on the rooftop, his knees drawn up close to his chest while a joint dangled from his lips

"Sometimes I like not being able to think" She grinned back "Sorry. Did you want to be alone."

Jax shrugged and shook his head "Nah. Wouldn't mind the company." He took a long drag and reached out to pass it to Ra.

"Last time someone in a Reaper vest passed me something I ended up with my head in the toilet."

Jax's outstretched arm didn't falter and neither did the smirk on his face. Ra clicked her tongue off the roof of her mouth and sat down next to him, taking the joint between her fingers. She was too tired to argue and honestly couldn't find a legitimate excuse as to why she would want to. Her first drag was rough and the tears popped into her eyes at an attempt to not hack and cough at the rough smoke.

"Chibs told me your son was in the hospital. I'm sorry to hear that."

Jax nodded excepting the shared joint back from her, taking a long exaggerated drag "Yeah. Thanks." His response was clipped and rueful and Ra felt bad for disturbing him and bringing it up. It was probably why he was out here to begin with. He worked his jaw back and forth, running his tongue between his teeth as if deep in thought "His mom was a junky. She and I haven't gotten along for awhile now and I was to wrapped up to realize she was using again while she was pregnant. My son was born early and inside out."

His words spilled out so freely that Ra figured he had been holding them in for awhile now. Voicing it to a complete stranger was his way of voiding the burden without the false sympathy his family had been giving him in hopes of making him dismiss his guilt. Still, Ra wasn't some hardened criminal that lacked compassion and sensitivity. She wasn't going to chastise him for lack of responsibility. Her current position didn't allow her the right. He was watching her out of the corner of his eye, gauging her reaction. She sucked in a sharp breath and reached back for the joint, the second hit going down easier than the first.

"It's a good thing for the both of you."

Jax turned towards her sharply, narrowing his eyes. His lips curled into an expression that was part confusion and part anger "What?"

"If your kid makes it through this..you'll both be stronger for it." When his expression didn't waver, Ra reached for the pack of cigarettes in her pocket, needing the familiarity of the act to calm her nerves more than the high she was getting now "He will know what it is to come out a fighter. Know that from the moment he was born he was already stronger than all the people in his life. He'll know what it is to feel love so fiercely that God himself couldn't take him away. Realizing he had a bigger purpose will drive him to find out what that purpose was. Good men are made out of moments like this."

"So are bad ones"

"Not if they're being steered in the right direction."

Maybe she was being slightly patronizing. She was pretty certain life in SAMCRO wasn't the best environment for a young mind waiting to be molded and shaped. But one thing Jax's child would not lack was love. An understanding of loyalty. And more importantly an appreciation for family. If Jax didn't make sure of that..his grandma would.

"And what about me? What am I supposed to get out of this" Jax questioned.

Ra's lips turned up on one side as she cocked her head towards him "You're already learning it. You just became part of something bigger than yourself. You just became responsible" She nudged him playfully in his ribs "You just became a dad."

"Shit." Jax chuckled, blowing out smoke between breaths "Dad" He said it as if testing the words on his lips for the first time.

The hollowed clang of the rungs on the rusted out ladder hanging from the side of the building interrupted their conversation. They both looked over to see Chibs' head pop up over the ledge.

"Shite. Sorry. Clay wanted me to check up on yeh. Didn't see yeh in your room." He narrowed his eyes at the pair and tightened his jaw "Well. I'll leave ya to it."

"No. No brother, you're good. Was just on my way to the hospital. Didn't want to leave a beautiful woman sitting by herself ." Jax walked over and grabbed Chibs' hand, helping him over the ledge and headed towards the door. He paused with a hand on the doorknob and looked back over his shoulder "Thanks Ra."

She wordlessly bobbed her head and smiled at him. Her attention already on the Scotsman who was staring daggers in her direction. Was he jealous? The possibility gave her an odd satisfaction after their early exchange in the parking lot when he had openly tried to embarrass her. Jax was gone and all that was left was the reverberating noise coming from the clubhouse.

"Didn't mean to interrupt anything." Chibs said, taking a swig from a bottle of Jameson she hadn't even realized he had been able to make it up the ladder with. She looked up through partially lidded eyes, the joint clearly having its intended effect.

"Oh that's okay. Saved me some work. There's a reason they call it a blow job" She joked, working a fist against her jaw. She was trying to be saucy and he knew it. Provoking some unwarranted jealousy he was ashamed to admit had ceased inside his chest. Christ, he had slept with a croweater last night and she had witnessed it. Not only had he not claimed her, but she was off limits. He didn't put it past Jax to completely disregard Clay's instructions though. His VP was starting to come into his own the last few weeks, continually questioning his Stepfather. Ra would just be another notch in his headboard and another rebellious proverbial middle finger to Clay "It was just a joke." Ra uttered playfully.

Chibs snorted and shrugged "Whatever. Ain't my business."

Ra quirked an eyebrow at his sudden irritation and pursed her lips together to keep from smiling "So was there something Clay needed?"

"No." Chibs grunted, avoiding her gaze "We're supposed to be watchin' yeh remember? Can't do that if you're sneakin' off."

"I didn't "Sneak off" I'm still at the clubhouse. I just needed a break from the noise. Didn't know I had to check in every time I leave my room." Ra grumbled. Her initial amusement was giving way to agitation by being viewed as some prisoner in her new "home." Maybe it was even Cherry's words from earlier about the way the MC viewed the women in their lives that made his reprimand all the more annoying.

"Well next time yeh wanna get some air just let someone know. We didn't know if yeh left or not."

"I'm not some inmate in this club that you need to keep tabs on. I'm not stupid. I'm not some croweater!" The words bubbled up out of her before she could stop them and she felt stupid for even making the comparison.

Chibs drew his brows together tightly, his upper lip curling at one side. Ra's raised chin and puffed out chest had her seeming like a child challenging a parent. There was a fire in her eyes though. A soft burning ember that had the potential to rage if stoked. Although he had every right as a club member to put her in her place and explain to her as kindly as his outlaw temperament would allow about do's and don't's, he was in no mood to argue "No one ever said yeh were girl." Her body and face visibly relaxed at the assurance as Chibs took a seat next to her on the incline. He tapped the bottle of whiskey against her arm and she scoffed and shook her head.

"Hair of the dog." He suggested.

"Why are you always trying to get me drunk?" Ra tried to disguise the smile as she took the bottle out of his hand. 

"I'm startin' to think I like yeh better that way."

It was a joke. Maybe. But Ra didn't take it as one, remembering the girl from last night. They were quiet again. She played with the laces on her black boots while Chibs hissed out smoke from his lungs. "That girl from last night..Is she your old lady?"

"No." he stated flatly, blowing out smoke from his nose "Croweater. Old lady. Where yeh gettin' all this from?"

"Cherry told me today that.."

"Oh Jeysus Christ." He chuckled "The prospects sweetbutt?" Ra rolled her eyes. Now there were sweetbutts? "Trust me girl, the last person yeh be needin' to listen to is her."

She teetered on how to approach the topic without sounding jealous and realized there was no way to go about it "I saw you with her this morning. I just figured she was.."

"She was fun for a night." He bit out.

Ra frowned, wrapping her flannel tighter around herself. Is that what she was last night? A little fun? Get her drunk and hope to get her into bed? But he didn't. Hadn't even tried as far as she remembered. According to him he probably had the chance to too. The notion made her feel suddenly insecure and angry all at once. Insecure that he found her inadequate in comparison to the bleach blonde, fake breasted croweater and angry that she was feeling jealous because of it. The turbulence drove her so swiftly to her feet that Chibs found himself flinching back ias a reaction.

"Thanks for the whiskey."

"Where yeh goin'?" He asked, trying to hide the slight disappointment in his voice.

"Back to my room to try to sleep." She wielded around , walking back towards the door "Ya know, if that's okay with you and Clay."

She didn't wait for an answer. It wasn't a rhetorical question. Something had pissed her off. The sound of the heavy metal door slamming shut echoed back her absence and Chibs sat in stunned silence. He leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees while stubbing out his cigarette with the toe of his boot.

"Crazy bitch"

XXXXXXXXXX


End file.
